Buddy Ebsen does a Grandma Moses on Jed Clampett

Yowza! I’ve seen the Museum of Bad Art (I’ve even seen it in person, since it’s in Somerville). And I’ve seen mediocre art by famous people like Richard Feynman. I’ve seen the primitive folk art of Grandma Moses. But I’ve never these things all rolled together into one magical package. Until now…

This evening, on the advice of my friend Kevin, I happened to be reading up on some classics from the 70s. This took me to the Kindertrauma page on The Horror at 37,000 Feet. Improbably, it was on this page that I made the big discovery. Buddy Ebsen, the talented dancer and actor, is also a bad primitive tasteless famous artist. Just look.

Friend, if Ebsen’s Welll Doggies doesn’t cheer you up, I don’t know what will. And this being the holiday season, you might want to drop $900 on Christmas Cheer. In lieu of a docent talk, I will include the gallery’s complete description of the painting below.

Jed and Duke have been up to the timber line to fetch a Christmas tree. Happily headed home they had forgotten about the deer crossing until they see Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer fixing them with an indignant glare. Jed brings the truck to a sliding stop, to give Rudolph the right of way and incidentally avoids a tangle with a family of skunks whose opportunist mama can apparently read signs.

Travels in Relativity Land

Mr. Tompkins, a banker with an interest in physics, takes a nap after seeing a lecture on relativity. He awakens in a strange world. Bicyclists moving past him are pinched and narrow. When he decides to go cycling himself, he notices the street he’s riding on has gotten very short. But short as it is, he doesn’t seem to be making much progress. When he remarks about this, a fellow cyclist says “What difference does it make anyway, whether we move faster or whether the street becomes shorter?”

What’s happened to poor Mr. Tompkins? Here’s what: he’s landed in a world where the speed of light is so slow that the effects of relativity are obvious and dramatic.

The story of Mr. Tompkins was written in 1940 by the physicist George Gamow. His goal was to make special relativity a little more human-scaled and approachable. The speed of light is so unimaginably fast to us that it’s hard to picture what it must be like to move at relativistic speeds. To build insight about the process, you need to domesticate it.

This is the same essential insight of a game from the MIT Game Lab.

By walking around in a world with a ridiculously slow speed of light, you experience not only the Lorentz transformation of space observed by Mr. Tompkins, but also the Doppler effect, the searchlight effect, and time dilation. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll build up some intuitive understanding of the crazy world of the very very fast.