My friend Nicki is a novelist. She once wrote a novel called I, Iago in which that Shakespearean bad boy gets to tell his side of the story (she wrote a bunch of other novels too!). You can imagine her delight upon learning that her novel was a clue in last Friday’s crossword puzzle for the New York Times. That’s some serious cultural credibility, right there. I like the idea of being that well known for a non-felonious accomplishment.
Anyway, it occurred to me that employing so many vowels in your novel’s title could really make your name in the crossword cluing business. I wrote Nicki a short note: “You should write more novels with 4 vowels in 5 letters. Could be a real money-spinner in after-market crosswords.”
I even included a few suggestions of my own. That’s the kind of helpful friend I am. Here they are.
“O, Ahoy!” – Sailor ashore finds love, or something close enough.
“Eli II” – An account of inventor Eli Whitney’s forgotten heir.
“Aiean” – A plucky native of Oahu builds Hawaii’s largest watercress farm.
“Id Eau” – A Freudian thriller set on the banks of the Seine.
“I, Ilie” – A faux-memoir of Romanian tennis star Ilie Năstase.
“A Roué” – A debauched cleric’s inconclusive collision with redemption.
There! I’ve done the hard work. All you have to do is write the novel and crossword fame will be yours, assuming you can escape oblivion, find a few readers, and endear yourself to aspiring cruciverbalists.
But maybe you don’t want to write a novel. I understand. Not all of us are novelists. In that case, I challenge you to come up with a 5-letter 4-vowel title (and summary) of your own. Leave some winners in the comments!