A lot of discussion about the problems of our world is framed like this: “If an alien visited our planet and saw how much we were polluting it, they would be horrified by how short-sighted and self-destructive we are.” Or something like that. Pick your favorite bad thing that humans do, then have an alien visit and comment on our stupidity.
I understand why people use this framing. If you want to make some critical commentary, it helps to imagine an outsider’s perspective. But I think we need to give those aliens a little more credit. They’re not naive. They’ve seen it all before. To reach a point where they could zoom across the galaxy and pontificate about earthlings, they had to pass through a larval stage similar to the one we’re in now. They may be disgusted by our smell, but I doubt they’ll be shocked.
Image by Midjourney
I suppose there’s a chance they’ll treat us like worms, to be harvested or simply removed, but my expectation is that they’ll treat us with fascination and at least a little sympathy. I like to imagine an alien saying something like this: “Jeez, I remember middle school. Man that sucked. Don’t be too hard on yourself. It gets better.” Or maybe: “Ha! Your languages are just as irregular and hard to pronounce as Vugxshimnhiac! And your government – that bozo reminds me of Herpderp the Vain back home.”
They won’t be disinterested, rational superbeings. They’ll be a collection of the hardworking and the lazy, the conformists and the oddballs. You know, kind of like us. “Why does that weirdo Ixnagulon keep doing butt probe research on these poor natives? He’ll lose his funding if he keeps that up.”
My premise is that people are people, and er… so are aliens. Any sufficiently advanced alien is indistinguishable from your uncle. As a result, they’ll have a good chuckle when they see a lot of our stupid behavior. Of course, they might also say “By the way, give us your lunch money.” But at least they won’t be surprised at our stupidity.
Rambles Blog at Star Chamber 